


The Universal Solution

by Triskaidekalogue



Series: HSO 2011 ficbits [8]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Ficbit, Friendship, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-16
Updated: 2011-10-16
Packaged: 2017-10-24 16:31:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Triskaidekalogue/pseuds/Triskaidekalogue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jade tries to drink her love troubles away (bad) and recruits Rose's help (very, very good).</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Universal Solution

**Author's Note:**

> A Rose + Jade snippet written for [lj user mayoral's soundtrack](http://hs-olympics.livejournal.com/9563.html?thread=1592411#t1592411) in HSO Bonus Round 2B.

"He doesn't love me," Jade hiccuped, setting down her wolf-and-moon mug with a crack. "Oops. Did I break anything?" She brought her face down to table level and examined it with exaggerated meticulousness. "Nope," she decided at last, "all good."

Rose watched in amusement as Jade took another swig. "You do know that's just limeade, yes?"

"Shush. I'm drowning my sorrows," Jade told her. "Don't rain on my parade. I mean, don't... dry up my... You know what I mean. Where's the pitcher?"

"I'll pour." Rose set her knitting aside and stood to refill Jade's mug. "So. What makes you so certain that this anonymous gentleman fails to return your affections?"

Jade scowled. "I tried to flirt with him and he acted like nothing different was happening."

"Unbelievable," said Rose, shaking her head. "Simply unbelievable. You'll have to tell me all about your flirting procedures some other time, by the way. On the topic of this fellow, however... could it be that he simply does not express his interest as openly as do you?"

"He flirts with his girlfriend all the time!" Jade protested. Rose leaned forward, eyes gleaming with friendly predatoriness. "Uhh... yeah, he's seeing someone."

"Well, perhaps that avenue is closed to you for now, then," Rose said smoothly. "Have you considered other possibilities? There are, as they say, many fish in the sea. What about that 'really cool girl' you brought up in our last session?"

"She's his girlfriend."

"Ah. Truly a quandary." Rose let a moment of respectful silence pass, then produced her Therapist's Trump: "Would the names of this heartless couple be Dave and Terezi, by any chance?"

Jade choked on her limeade. Rose pushed the napkins over to her and gave her a few thumps on the back.

"Well?"

"How did you find that out?" Jade spluttered.

"Trade secret," said Rose, though really, Jade's lovingly detailed descriptions of her crushes' multifarious awesomeness hardly made it difficult. "Patient confidentiality prohibits me from naming my source, but I have information to the effect that at least one party in that relationship would be interested in... including you. You should probably approach them explicitly, rather than indirectly expressing interest through flirtation."

Jade's eyes went huge. "R-really?"

"On my solemn word as a student of psychiatry. Would you like to contact them?"

"Yes!" And she was halfway out of her seat before she realized something and nearly overbalanced on the one foot. "Ohhh. Fuck. Rose, do you mind if we finish this later?"

Rose covered a smile. "You have my permission to go forth and woo."

  


A week later Rose received an invitation on lime-green construction paper, with her name crayoned in red above _YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO THE CELEBRATORY MATESPRITSHIP SHINDIG OF dave strider, T3R3Z1 PYROP3, & jade harley!!_ Holographic dragon and wolf stickers heralded the lines announcing date, time, and location.

Rose didn't bother to hide her smile this time. Not only was one of her best friends happily in a relationship, but she herself had also helped that friend overcome her romantic shyness. An overwhelming success, all told.

  


At the party, Jade told Rose the _exact terms_ of the proposition she had made to Dave and Terezi. Rose reevaluated her assessment of Jade's romantic "shyness", wished the trio a joyous matespritship, and fled.


End file.
